Tuesday morning, as I was waiting for school to start, I was keeping up to date via a car news application on my iPhone. As the timeline scrolled by, the words “Nissan Juke and GT-R” caught my eye. Mindlessly, I tapped the title of the article and was brought to the header. (below)
Of course, I immediately knew the implications of such a thing, but I initially attributed it to a simple prank in an attempt at the defense of my conscious mind. Though, after reasoning for a few seconds, I realized that April is still some 6 months away, and the management of Nissan is way too stupid to attempt humor.
Oh shit.
Pardon my bias, but you know an article is going to annihilate your weekly charisma with such a disgusting header. Combining the freakish, ridiculous Juke with the soulless-yet-successful GT-R has to be on the same level as history’s greatest crimes against humanity.
The question that seems to best define Nissan for me, personally is “Why?"
Why create the Cube?
Why give it drum brakes?
Why show a luxury coupe power-sliding around an urban area in a luxury television commercial?
Even without my ridiculous, unfounded disgust of the company, WHY on this Earth would you want to put the drivetrain of a top-selling rear-wheel-driven supercar into the hideous, disfigured body of a washout front-wheel-driven crossover?!
Well, after returning to a somewhat reasonable state as the grief from the first sight of the logo subsided, I scrolled down to find the video embedded below.
Episode 1 of "Let’s Build the Worst Thing We Can Come Up With”
…and this Darren Cox fellow answered my question.
“We’re a very innovative company, and we just like doing really crazy stuff like this.”
I’m sorry…did I hear him right? Did he just justify this thing in the name of “innovation?!”
BULL SHIT
There is absolutely nothing new, beneficial, or inventive about the waste of valuable time and resources unfolding right in front of that camera’s lens.
“If you look at our history, there are many examples of Nissan engineers really driving forward the business.”
Yes! There are! And every single one of them would collectively haul your ass back to a theology class. Or maybe a psychology class.
Just anywhere the chance exists that you’ll learn some damned morals!
To sum it up, this is possibly the most pointless, disgusting thing Nissan has ever created, even surpassing the Cube. Sure, it’s not going on sale. And initially, you may question why you should care. Well…you should care because Nissan is stupid. They are gaining nothing from this. It’s about as wild as goose chases get. Millions of dollars and thousands of man hours are being poured into something that has no logical value whatsoever.
In this new video, I describe my reaction to discovering this thing.
Negligent Operators 